Going Back There
by YouKilledMyFrittata
Summary: Nick goes back to some place he'd thought he'd never he would


Grave Danger Fanfic.

I do not own CSI, although Holly is my Character and she is married to Nick (she is also pregnant in this story)

This isn't my best story, just hope it isn't terrible.

* * *

Holly walked into her apartment, she'd just worked a double at the lab. She threw her keys on the table and took her coat off. She could hear that the TV was on, knowing her in-laws and Nick it was probably some random southern film, the smell of popcorn hit her nose, her in-laws popcorn was the best. "hey" Rodger said throwing handful of corn in his mouth. Nick turned around and smiled at her "you get him?" he asked referring to the case she'd told him they were working on.

"No Gris took pity on me and sent me home"

"Right" Nick laughed. Holly lay on the couch and put her head on Nick's lap

"Hey did you hear what Warrick did?"

"No, what?"

"He stuck an air horn under Sara's chair, she sat down and screamed the whole lab down" Holly said laughing. She looked up at Nick, he was obviously disappointed that he missed it "so anyway next time you see Archie, make him show you the video"

"Hey who else was there?" he asked messing about with her hair

"Well Conrad walked in with her, so we all got screamed at, but just the team" she explained looking over at the TV "what are you _watching_?" she asked seeing someone getting their head sawed off

"The Monkey in the district" Jillian, Nick's mother replied noticing her confusion.

"Oh, okay" like it was the most unnatural thing ever. Just then Holly's son must have heard them talking as he called out for her "muuuuummmmmmyyyyyy"

"Urgh" Holly said, not really in the mood to move

"I'll go" Jill offered

"No it's okay" Holly said beginning to stand up. Nick held her down

"Have you ever tried to argue with a lawyer?" he asked

Holly laughed "thanks

"Right, I'm going to bed" Rodger announced

"Night" Holly and Nick said in unison. Rodger gave Holly his leftovers, Holly smiled taking the bowl.

"Holz can I ask you something?" Nick asked after his father left

"Sure what's up" she replied

"Okay, how to put this, I'm thinking about doing some something's you might, probably won't agree with" he began

"Right…" Holly said sensing it wasn't going to be good

"But I was hoping you could support me anyway"

"Yeah, and these things are?"

"I wanted to go back to the nursery"

Holly turned her head round to face him; a confused expression on her face, hoping she'd heard him wrong "What?"

"I want to go back put this all behind me"

"Nicky I don't think that will help" he said sitting up and facing him

"Will you come or not?" he asked clearly getting annoyed

"I'll come, Nicky, but…"

He cut her off "thanks, I've made, my mind up, I don't want you to talk me out of it"

"What other crazy idea's have you got?"

"I'm going to visit Kelly Gordon" Holly looked at him blankly

"Seriously?"

"Yeah" Holly inhaled a deep breath

"Anything else" she asked

"I'm going to do a bungee jump"

"I'm sorry?" Holly asked thinking this had to be even crazier than visiting Kelly and going back to the nursery. Nick smiled

"I'm kidding"

"Oh"

* * *

The past few days had gone by fast, Warrick, had been great he'd come over and speak with Nick have a laugh, but also had been there when the nightmares had come, woken him up when he thought he was back in the claustrophobic box, unable to get help, no one able to hear his screams. Sara and Catherine had mothered him, made sure he was eating properly, sleeping as best he could. 'Babysitting' him as Nick called it. Greg mostly went over played video games and made a mess. Grissom had been as distant as ever, although everyone knew he still cared.

Holly was driving to this god damn nursery. She had no idea why she had agreed to do this, no she did, she knew if she didn't go with Nick he would have went on his own. This was the last place she wanted to go back too. Memories flooded back, the CSI's driving at what seemed like 100MPH, then Catherine shouting 'I've found it, this is it.' For everybody it had been a massive relief, they'd dug him up in time, just before Nick had ended it all. Then the bombs underneath, once again, Nick had been lucky, lucky to not have died, they all had. This was the last place she thought Nick would have wanted to come back to. She looked over at him, his elbow was propped up against the car door, his head resting on his hand, his other hand resting on his lap, slightly shaking. Neither of them had said a word since the journey began. "Nicky it doesn't matter how far we get, we can still turn back" she said looking over at him, he continued to stare out of the window not hearing what she was saying. "Oh, okay Holly I'll let you know" she replied to herself sarcastically.

"Nicky are you with me?" She sighed realising he was day-dreaming. Holly gently placed her hand on his shoulder, and he almost jumped out of his skin. "sorry" she said holding her hand up

"Sorry my mind wandered" Nick apologised

"It looked more like it pissed off completely"

Nick laughed "is this the route you guys took?" he said changing the subject slightly

"No, I took the longer route so you would have time to change your mind" Nick looked over at her

"I've made up my mind, Hol" they sat in silence for a bit "why'd you talk to Grissom?" he asked breaking the silence

"I had to get someone to try and talk some sense into you" he didn't say anything. He'd spoken to Grissom about this. He was the only person who hadn't tried to talk him out of it, just listened, let him explain why he wanted to go. Warrick and his parents had begged him not to come here, begged him even more to not visit Kelly, but he was determined to put this behind him, and doing these two things were what was going to allow him to do that everyone had been convinced that she knew where he was, and if she'd told them Nick wouldn't have been down there for so long. There wasn't any evidence that was what they were supposed to make theory's on rather than 'gut' instincts. "Look Nicky, I'm here for you, okay"

"I know that"

Holly nodded "well I know that you probably aren't gonna change your mind in the next ten minutes, but I had to try before hand"

"I booked a visit to Kelly Gordon earlier this morning" Holly looked at him stunned

"what are you gonna say to her?"

Nick shrugged "I haven't decided yet"

* * *

"Holly it couldn't have been this far in, or have you taken the longer route again?" Nick asked getting frustrated, as he and Holly walked through the nursery

"look Nicky I'm not sure where it is" it had gotten darker quicker than they'd both though and was now just as dark as it had a month ago.

"Holly I'm doing this already"

"Nicky I wasn't memorising the route I was trying to find you" she said trying to keep up with him. Nick stopped dead; there was a 3 feet hole where he had stood. The ground was ruptured, the smell of the explosion still lingering. The earth probably wouldn't re-grow anything in awhile. Nick stared into the hole; memories of being stuck underground in that hell were flooding back to him, the eerie green glow, or the bright white light that was killing his oxygen supply, or the total darkness at the beginning. It was such a tight space then those ants. They'd been the worst thing he'd ever experienced. Holly stood beside him, unsure of what to do, "is…this?" he asked tentatively, his eyes welling up.

"yeah, this it"

"when…I was in there, all I could think about was you and the baby, and never meeting her, and never seeing you again..." Holly put her arm around him "I was so scared" he whispered only loud enough for her to hear "so scared and those ants" tears were rolling down his cheeks "I let myself be buried alive Hol, I let it happen, I allowed myself to be kidnapped, I'm the only one to be blam…."

"HEY, this was not your fault, you were unconscious, you did not let yourself be buried. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this"

"I could have went over to see if Michael's was okay or have another look at the entrails, or…" he stopped talking realising that is he was back at the crime scene he would have done the exact same thing. Nick stood there silent still staring at his grave

Nick finally broke down. Unable to take the memories flooding back, trapping him back there anymore Holly took him into her arms "hey it's alright, you're gonna get through this" she assured him guiding him way from the grave

* * *

Holly and Nick sat in the car park of the woman's state penitentiary centre. Nick was contemplating getting out, he knew he had to this, he just needed to find the courage to get out of the car "you want me to come it?"

"no…no I'll be alright" Nick opened the car door "I'll see 'ya"

Nick was sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, waiting for Kelly. He hoped she would come before he left again. Finally a guard walked her over and she say opposite him, Nick waved at her. She smiled in acknowledgement, Nick motioned her to pick up the phone. He needed to get out what he wanted to say

"You the guy?" she voice was rough unsympathetic, prison _had_ toughened her up

"Yeah, yeah" he cleared his throat, not really expecting the question "yeah, right back at ya"

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?" Kelly wanted this over and done with, and there was no way in hell she was apologising for something she didn't do

"No, you didn't do anything to me, and what your dad did...I guess it was because he loved you so much" Kelly hung up the phone she couldn't take it anymore, the guy who her dad had died over, the guy who her father had almost killed, the guy who was supposed to come in here demanding an apology was now telling her how much her father loved her. "no, no, kelly" Nick begged the tears slipping out "pick it up" she put it back up to her ear reluctantly, the tears almost falling too. Nick leaned forward, this is what he'd come to say "in a few years, when you get out of here" he paused, shaking his head "don't take this with you"

"that's it?"

"yeah, that's it" Kelly put the phone back on the holder and stood up "were done"

"that's it" he said to himself Nick sat back in the chair. he took a breath and stood up before he began crying in front of strangers.

"you say your piece?" Holly asked him, as Nick got in the car. Nick nodded. Finally he felt like he might be able to get over this and not take it with _him._

* * *

The End

Please review, I'd like to know what you thought. :)


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